Wednesday, 24 February 2016

Doomed New Years Resolutions

New Years resolutions are made to be broken, aren't they? This seems to be my experience with them.  I've yet to make a resolution that I've managed to keep.

Usually my resolutions have to do with health - eating better, exercising more, or the vague and non-specific 'weight loss' resolution.  This year I wanted to go for something a little more simple, something that was achievable ... or so I thought at the time.

My resolution simply was to work less, stress less, and to rearrange my priorities.  So far I have been able to take a lot more time to myself, to spending time with my husband and relaxing.  Unfortunately keeping the stress down hasn't been very successful.  I've been sick all year, first with strep throat, and now with a chronic virus for over 6 weeks.

Sometimes I feel like I can't turn things off.  Even when I'm relaxing, I start to feel guilty about not working.  I don't seem to have boundaries between when to work and when to switch off.  Right now I am writing this blog at 3am.  I can't remember the last time I spent a weekend without looking at work.  Is this simply the danger of being a writer, of doing a freelance job and essentially not having a 9-5 job?

I have found some reprieve.  When I need to get to sleep, I've started to listen to guided meditations that really work.  I drop off to sleep before they finish.  There's a great number of them by the Honest Guys over on YouTube which I highly recommend:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC4jWo5kiyOCt4PnvF4jbaLg
Particularly if you are like me, where it's not so much insomnia, but the inability to switch off, to stop your mind from working long enough to go to sleep.  I need to get some more structure in my life.  But then, who doesn't need more discipline? Perhaps I should have gone to ADFA when I had the chance.